The Ultimate Guide to Swingers Party

by Kyle and Stephanie

In our experience, few things beat a swinger party for sheer eroticism and opportunities to play. Whenever we’re invited to one, we just know we’re going to have a great time! To prepare ourselves, we refrain from sexual activity with each other for a few days before, honing ourselves into a turmoil. Stephanie often heads for the local clubwear shop for a new ensemble. By the time we arrive, we’re ripe for a stupendous time, and we’re rarely dissatisfied with the results.

Types of parties

A house party is one that’s held in someone’s home, while at a hotel party someone takes it upon theirselves to rent a block of rooms. (Usually, the hotel management is alerted to the event, and they take pains to keep vanilla families out of the wing.) Should you be invited to a hotel party, be prepared to contribute to the cost of the rooms. At an “open” house party, the host may also ask for a financial subsidy; if not, it’s polite to bring a dish of food, perhaps some appetizers or cookies.

Before arriving at a swinger party, you should also understand the alcohol policy. The norm is that you bring the type of booze you like, knowing that it will be placed in a common area where others can sample it. From time to time, we’ve seen the host supply an open or cash bar.

The 3 best lifestyle event lists

1. Swing Life Style Party List Swing Life Style Party rating

This is a complete and well organized listing of all of the parties at swing clubs and other organized events in the United States, sorted by “national” or state. Details have been supplied by the club or event.

In the “Hot Dates” area, located at the bottom of the SLS home page (you need to join the site and create your profile), private house parties that are looking for additional couples or singles are sometimes listed.

2. Swingers Date Club Party List Swingers Date Club Party rating

This list is organized by date, all of the swing club parties in one month gathered chronologically. In addition to the United States, this list has separate segments for Europe and Latin America.

3. Swing Towns Party List Swing Towns Party rating

This site is organized in an advertisement fashion by upcoming calendar dates. On a recent weekend, Swing Towns listed about sixty parties and events throughout the United Sates. Clicking on the ad leads you to the complete details of the party.

Getting an invitation

invitation to swingers party

Commercial parties and swing club events may be advertised on a web site (see above.) Others will be invitation only; for these, you need to be hooked in. We were first invited to a house party by a couple we were swinging with; as we were lying around, pleasantly satiated after sex, they asked if we were interested – of course we said yes. As you’re chatting with people at clubs or electronically, don’t be afraid to suggest you’re interested in attending a party.

Once you get an invitation, should you accept? Before you do, understand what kind of a party it is. If it isn’t clear, call or email the hosts with your questions:

  • How many people are likely to attend?
    Perhaps you don’t want to go if 80 couples are going to be jammed into a three-bedroom condo.
  • Are single males invited, and what will the ratio be?
    The occasional single is welcome for us (guys tire much too soon, while the women may still be raring to go,) but too many unattached gentlemen tends to make the atmosphere a bit jumpy.
  • Is there a theme for the party?

If you decide for whatever reason this isn’t the party for you, be sure to decline with a nice note so you’ll be on the list for the next one, which might be different.

Arriving at the party

Arrive at the party fashionably late, anywhere from fifteen to forty-five minutes after the official start. If you need to arrive later, let the host know.

At hotel parties, couples usually gather at the bar for drinks and flirtation. We have a tendency to pick our first targets then, if they’re receptive we invite them to join us in the rooms. Once somebody heads up the elevator, the crowd usually follows, nudity and sex quickly ensues.

It’s somewhat different at house parties. Usually the first hour or so looks very much like any suburban cocktail party, with one exception: the husbands are wearing clean business casual to impress, but the women tend to be wearing enticing clothing, from a blouse with extreme cleavage to sheer lingerie. Many people will already know each other from previous encounters and they’ll take some time to catch up, but newcomers are always warmly welcomed. Expect the hosts to greet you, take you on a tour of their home.

Swinger party games

swinger party games

After most people have arrived during a period of mingling, the hosts will often organize swinger party games. It can be anything from strip poker or truth and dare to more esoteric activities. Once, when we arrived Kyle was invited to take a bolt from a bowl, while Stephane received a screw. The objective was to find a person who had the match to your fastener. Another wonderful starter was that the folk lined up in two rows, boy-girl-boy-girl. The second person was given a keychain to which was attached a long string – they were instructed to thread it under the first person’s clothes, from collar to ankle. This led to wonderful opportunities to grope a potential partner, and to be groped in return.

If the home includes a swimming pool or hot tub and it’s hidden from the stares of neighbors, expect a few people to strip and enjoy the water. If it’s your choice, go ahead and join them.

At some point, usually closely following the games, people begin to migrate to the playrooms.

What to expect, sex-wise

Of course, every party is different with it’s own distinct vibe. We’ve often been surprised when something pleasant occurs that we didn’t expect. Understand that at the “typical” party the expectation is that people are there to play, and the atmosphere is usually charged with titillation.

We emphasize again, you should never feel you have to play with someone you don’t want to, or engage in any activity that turns you off. Sometimes the use of condoms becomes a topic of discussion; if you want to use them, don’t let anybody talk you out of it. It’s always polite to ask before touching!

swinger couple at hotel party

Sometimes you and your spouse will find a couple you’d like to play with, someone you’ve been intimate with in the past, perhaps a pair you’ve never met before. If they’re willing, feel free to head to a bedroom. When we get there, one of us will ask, “Open or closed?” A consensus is usually reached quickly. Like any swinging experience, if the door is closed it should never be opened from the outside. But if the foursome is willing to be watched or joined by others, just leave it open.

In our experience there is more open sex at parties than there is at a club. While we bump into couples that are just starting out and don’t wish to engage with others yet, most of the denizens are experienced and quite approachable. If your bent is to orgies, that diversion is often available. If you find someone that’s willing and they’re anxious to go into the living room – suppose some blow-up mattresses have been set up in there – you can expect someone else will want to join you before too long. If a few people are already going at it, ask to join if you want to.

Usually at house parties there are one or two rooms people hang out in without the pressure of active sex, often the kitchen and dining room. If you’ve gorged enough or simply don’t want to participate, simply head for that area, you’ll be allowed to gather yourself.

At a swinger party, either house or hotel, it’s common for married couples to split off from each other with a wave and a “see you later.” However if you can’t bear to be separated from your spouse, no one will think the less of you.

We’ve seen many couples shift their agreements in the midst of parties, such as a soft-swap couple having their first full experience. Stephanie unexpectedly had her first multiple-men experiment at a party. This is always fraught with concerns. If you’re caught up in the moment and you realize you may transgress the rules you’ve set up with your spouse, stop for moment, find them and talk to them, see if you have their permission.

There is never any excuse for exhibiting drama at a party. One man was startled to find his wife entwined with a gentleman and his jealousy kicked in. A scene erupted in which the couple was compelled to leave, they were never invited to another party. Should you find yourself in such a position, quietly ask your spouse to cease their activity and calmly leave the party.

Leaving the party

The party usually lasts for a few hours after the capering starts. When you’ve had your fill, find the hosts, thank them and take your leave. However, we’ve been to parties that have lasted well into the next day, or even a whole weekend.

We love hotel and house parties, we hope we’ll see you at the next one we go to.