Ultimate Swinger Clubs Guide Plus 3 Best Lifestyle Club Lists

by Kyle and Stephanie

What is swingers club

Consider this: a place where you and your partner can go, meet people who are inspired by sexual opportunities, engage in almost any kind of indulgence you care for. These places exist, one is probably closer to you than you imagine. They’re called ‘swinger clubs.’ Each one, of course, is different. If you’re a couple (or a single) that is interested in exploring the swinger lifestyle, a club is a great place to dip your toes into the sport, see if it’s for you.

We love going to a swingers club because while we know what to expect, it also brings with it a sense of the unpredictable. If we are planning to meet a couple we’ve seen before, the evening might turn out with someone we didn’t know at all, we may have unexpectedly joined an orgy or we may have enjoyed a threesome.

How to find your local swinger’s club

Most clubs are hidden in plain sight; they don’t have a sign that says “Get Laid Here Tonight.” But they’re not hard to find, simply visit one of the swinger club locators below. Click on the area where you live or are visiting and find your place.

Note that some clubs are on-premise, others are off-premises. On-premise clubs have an area where people are encouraged to have sex; at off-premise places you meet people in a swinger-positive environment, but to take it further you’d head to a hotel. Most clubs (except in high swinger locations, such as New York or Las Vegas) are open only on weekends.

If you find a club you’re interested in, look at the club website, search the web for reviews of the place, even call the place to find out more about it.

The 3 best swinger club directories

1. Swingers Club List Swingers Club List rating

Pros
This is very complete listing of clubs throughout the world. Members are encouraged to leave their independent reviews. The information on each club seems to be taken directly from the club’s website. Unlike the other sites, it clearly lists the days and times the club is open.
Cons
None

2. SwingLifeStyle Club List SwingLifeStyle Club List rating

Pros
Club information is easily found, such as whether it is on-premise and what the alcohol policy is. Reviews by members are in the ‘forum’ section of the site; there’s a direct link to them. In order to see the club details, you are required to click on the club name. There is no need to ever pay them unlike the other sites.
Cons
Unfortunately, some ‘minor’ clubs aren’t listed, such as the Springfield Social Club which is listed on the other sites. Club opening times and days are missing from the information. Since the clubs aren’t listed alphabetically, it takes some scrolling to find the one you’re looking for.

3. Love Voodoo Club List Love Voodoo Club List rating

Pros
This site has an excellent summary by state, on and off premise clubs are clearly marked. Reviews of the clubs are contributed by members and seem to be limited. Websites for the clubs are easily linked. You don’t have to be a member of the site to view details for the clubs, and there is a “Love Voodoo Recommended” designation.
Cons
Only clubs in the United States and Canada are listed. The opening dates and times aren’t displayed.

Going to the club

Once you’ve decided to head for a club, go onto their website and join up or make a reservation. Most clubs won’t let you simply show up. Expect to be charged a membership fee and a nightly entrance fee. Couples will normally be charged a reasonable event fee, single women a lesser fee or even free, single men a higher fee (or they may not be invited at all.) Most clubs limit the number of single men they’ll have on a particular night; too many of them tend to make for a more voyeuristic, somewhat creepy atmosphere.

Going to the club - right or wrong way

Before you head over to the place, know their alcohol policy. We’ve never been to a swinger club that doesn’t allow booze, but many are BYOB. In that case, they normally have free mixers. Make sure you have good directions to the club, as most are don’t have the name of the establishment on the door. That’s for your protection, you don’t want people knowing what you’re doing, do you?

Usually, the first thing you do is enter a lobby where you’ll hang up your coats and pay your fees. Then, you’ll be in the club!

What to wear?

Kyle usually wears a pair of nice slacks (no jeans!) and a button down shirt or at least a polo with a collar. Make sure your clothes are clean and classy; a slovenly appearance is the easiest way to turn people off. Stephanie usually makes her entrance in a pair of tight-fitting slacks or a skirt and a blouse that shows ample cleavage.

what to wear at swingers clubs

But she’s got a secret – when the party gets going, she’ll slip off and change into a sultry outfit that is sheer and revealing. Theme nights invite costumes, perhaps for Halloween or dirty schoolgirl night.

Stephanie’s favorite places for clubwear, costumes and other sexy clothes are Pink Queen and Wicked Temptations.

What to expect

On your first visit, someone on the staff should show you around, help you become comfortable. There will be a dance floor and the bar area, perhaps there will be a quiet sitting room where people can talk easily. Private rooms have their own area, there will often be a group play area or two. Some clubs have a pool table, others might have a hot tub or swimming pool.

You’ll be nervous the first time, it’s to be expected. Don’t worry, everyone there was a rookie at some point. Have a drink, if there’s food included have dinner. Now comes the hard part – be yourself, mingle, talk to people. We’ve often seen couples come, sit by themselves in the corner. It’s not surprising they don’t have a very good time, that they give it bad reviews. If you keep to yourself, the other people will respect that. But if you strike up a conversation, you can expect politeness at the very least.

Most people who attend clubs are in their thirties, forties or fifties, but you often find couples outside these ranges. The majority of people aren’t super sexy models, simply normal humans. Those who worry they aren’t ‘sexy enough’ usually leave the club with a changed opinion.

Assuming you’re willing to play – you might just wish to be voyeurs that night – ensure you’ve brought the condoms you prefer (most people in the LifeStyle require them,) lube and perhaps a toy or two.

You’ll be tempted to have some drinks, alcohol lessens the tension you’ll be feeling. But don’t imbibe too much, it also brings out the worst in people and makes you less attractive. We make it a policy never to have more than two drinks before midnight.

The party usually starts slowly, at most clubs it’s pretty quiet and tame before ten or so, then things change. On the dance floor, you’ll see the shifting of couples. People will migrate to private rooms in groups of four or three or a herd. The hot tub will suddenly have unclothed people enjoying the water and each other’s company. In the common areas, a few people will begin making love on a mattress. Walk around, enjoy the sights and sounds, immerse yourself in the scene.

swinger club

What happens if you meet someone

The whole purpose of going to a club is to have a sexual adventure. Before you stepped into the door, you should have had a detailed conversation with your partner, agreeing on what you’d like to have happen that night.

Look for opportunities. Talk to the people around you. Let’s suppose you’re dancing with your spouse, another couple approaches and dances near you; invite them in, dance as a foursome, then split off into two new configurations.

At this point, someone should suggest, “Hey, we’re interested.” If you’re not into them, politely say, “No, thanks.” If you are nicely rejected, don’t take offense. But if they say, “It could be interesting,” the game is on!

This is the time, before you go into a room, to have a brief conversation with the other couple. Let them know what you’re willing to do. (Full-swap? Soft-swap?) Pay attention to their rules. If the attraction is still there, find a room. What goes on in there is up to the four people.

And if we don’t find anyone?

Hey, you’re attracted to your spouse, aren’t you? Take them into a private room, have some great sex.

Now, here’s a tip. If you don’t mind someone watching you, leave the door open. The nearly-universal rule is that a person won’t enter the room unless they’re invited. And even if they’re allowed in the room, they shouldn’t touch unless you give them permission. But perhaps, in the heat of the moment, you’d like them to join you. If both of you are on the same page, enjoy it.

say no

Remember the first rule of swinging – No means No! If someone does something you feel is improper or unwanted, tell them to Stop! If they continue, find someone in management and alert them. We’ve rarely had a bad experience at a well run club.

The public playrooms

If you decide to have at it in a public area expect that others, especially the single men, will inquire if they are allowed to join. It’s almost expected that you’re looking for a group experience in that setting. But still, if you’re not attracted or it doesn’t feel right, just tell them, “We don’t think so.”

The aftermath

At some point, as closing time approaches, the swingers club will begin to quiet. Take your leave whenever you care to.

If you’ve met someone you like, even if you didn’t play with them, make sure to get their contact information, an email or KIK address, their profile name on a swinging site. In the next couple of days, shoot them a message telling them you enjoyed it, offering to meet up again if that’s something you desire.

We live a half hour from our favorite swing club. On the drive home we always talk about what happened, how much we enjoyed it. One of us might ask the other a detail about an amazing orgasm we witnessed, how one of us seemed a little more sensitive. Then, in the privacy of our own bedroom, we have the final sex of the evening with the person we care most about.

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